frivolity

on a day when the rest of the world is being reflective and solemn, i find myself in the clouds. consumed with thoughts of yoga-super-stars and plagued with questions about my own future. today seems like one of those days where i can’t quite keep my head on straight – it just keeps spinning… and i don’t mind so much cause being dizzy is kind of fun. i spent the morning imagining being famous in the yoga world and what that really means.
see, i had a student in my class this morning that’s moved here from the malibu area and has crammed herself into those 200 people yoga-super-star classes – mine was full at eight people! while i’ve done quite a few workshops with the “big dogs”, she’s been a part of that hype, that celebrity, and seen what it does to a group of people. how it’s affected the class dynamic. how it may have affected the quality of teaching. the attention. the love. we talked about how they charge up to $150/hour for a private lesson…. and how she says i’m just as good as they are (a compliment i both want to believe and find quite simply IMPOSSIBLE to believe – but say a hearty “thank you!” to at any rate) but yet i don’t have health insurance and do the hustle everyday driving ALL OVER god’s green earth to make my ends meet… and think i’m rollin’ in it because i have enough to go out to eat or to the movies and not stress that i can’t pay the bills – that’s high livin’ i say!
so i daydreamed… and worried. how long can i do this hustle? how could i ever support a family? how can i continue to live my dream AND have the security blanket i so need and long for? it’s hard! and i don’t have the answers…..

and then, on a totally frivolous note: i am deeply considering “blinging out” my cell phone for the hell of it! i’ve always thought it would be hilarious and i KNOW i can do it myself (i pride myself on my DIY craftiness) instead of paying someone $400 to do it – www.nycpeach.com. and i think it would bring me some silly joy to spend hours hand gluing rhinestones to my cell phone… and even more joy each time i pull that shiny, obnoxious thing out of my purse and put it up to my ear – i think i’d smile alot!